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OpenMike — My New Blog — Blasts Off on MichaelMoore.com

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Hey Everybody,

Though I’m in the middle of my next project, I, like you, can feel the ill wind blowing across the country as the crazy Right is already suited up and ready to ride into town in November. I don’t have any magic tricks to show Mr. Obama, so I’ve decided instead to start a brand new unstoppable, unapproved, uncompromising, and utterly unruly daily blog on my site (MichaelMoore.com). And sometimes I’ll write about what’s really on my mind (sports, Marion Cotillard, lost episodes of “F-Troop” and “Rat Patrol,” the weather in Portland).

Actually, a lot is on my mind these days, and I thought you’d like to hear my take on things. But before I launch into the Republicans, I remember the nuns taught us to clean up our own backyard first. So, in addition to my previous offer to move in to the White House and work for free, I’ll now be sharing my thoughts with the President and with you on my new daily blog.

I’m calling it OpenMike, and I’d love for you to make a habit of checking it out every day — and posting your own comments for the President and the voting public to see. Very soon we’ll have some live chats and some other new additions to my site (like an uncensored “Ask Me ANYTHING FAQ,” and some little daily subversive missions I’ll send you on). Foreign visitors who are scared sh*tless that the bad old days are coming back are also welcome to join in.

Here are the first two days of my new blog (from Monday and Wednesday). I’ve reprinted Wednesday’s below in full. Monday’s has language I, um, never use, but I got inspired by Rahm Emanuel and I wanted him to read it (so I had to speak in his tongue). Some teens (and younger) may have parents who won’t want them to read it, so kids, check with mom and dad as you always do.

I am so sincerely disappointed at how Obama and the Dems have blown much of the first 20 months of holding absolute power. (This is not to say they haven’t done a lot of good, but stop any five people on the street and ask them to name the “great accomplishments” of Obama’s first term and watch what happens.) The administration’s bend-over-backwards, can’t-we-all-get-along attitude may win them points at a 4-H Club fair, but their opponents are ruthless cutthroats and have rammed our good country right down the toilet — and they want to be back in power so they can continue the final flush of everything we used to have and stood for. This likely debacle is less than 8 weeks away.

But it doesn’t have to happen. Obama’s speech Wednesday — click here — was awesome and showed the balls we’ve been waiting to see since January 2009. Do the Democrats deserve what they’re about to get? Absolutely. But we don’t. We’ll be the ones who will have to suffer; they’ll all have cushy lobbying jobs. So do we now have to save them from themselves? How much longer will we have to play this stupid charade? Or do we just let them crash and burn and then start something new out of their wreckage?

I believe our first African-American president deserves a couple more years to try to get it right. After all, he didn’t create the disasters he inherited. I think someone’s just got to light a fire under him. So I’ll strike my match every day on this new blog. And I invite you to join me and do the same.

Anyways, enjoy my blogs, enjoy the site (it carries a lot of the buried news you may miss from the mainstream media every day, and it has some other cool things). Thanks to millions of you on my email list, to my 300,000 friends on Facebook and the nearly 700,000 of you who follow me on Twitter where I tweet and tweet and never sleep.



A Week of Proclamations

By Michael Moore

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010 2:45 PM

Last week, President Obama addressed the nation, declaring the war in Iraq to be over and that combat troops were all home. Yesterday, two American soldiers were killed in Iraq — by an Iraqi government soldier. This followed an attack on Sunday on a U.S. base in Baghdad. It all seemed a bit confusing to me because I always thought that when a President declares something, it’s supposed to happen. Now I’m worried about the other proclamations Mr. Obama made this past week:

Tuesday, August 31:

“Today, I am announcing that combat operations have ceased in Iraq. There will be no more combat. Combat is over. Done. Finished.”

Wednesday, September 1:

“I am here today to declare an end to global warming. Don’t ask me how I did it. And there’s no reason to look at thermometers or the polar ice caps anymore, because I just told you everything’s great. Just send me another Nobel Peace Prize.”

Thursday, September 2:

“Today I am announcing there is no more unemployment in America. Everyone else just got a big raise and fantastic health coverage. And all 37 million outsourced jobs are back. (Don’t ask your bosses about the raise tomorrow, they’ll just be embarrassed.)”

Friday, September 3:

“Today I am announcing that mosquitoes and all insects smaller than a centimeter will heretofore go away and stop biting hard working Americans.”

Saturday, September 4:

“After today’s victory over UConn, the Michigan Wolverines will cease playing effective football for the rest of the college season.”

Sunday, September 5:

“From this day forward, I hereby declare an end to Formica and all other prefabricated counter toppings. Not for me to judge, but: Nobel Peace Prize?”

Monday, September 6:

“As your President, I hereby declare an end to Delaware.”

Tuesday, September 7:

“Democratic Party combat operations have ended. Actually, they never started. We’ve refused to stand up to the Republicans for the past 20 months — uh, sorry, make that 20 years — I mean 30 years — and we see no reason to start now. Republicans will organize a government after November and I’m just hoping they’ll give me a few months to pack before they impeach me for being a Muslim atheist.”

Wednesday, September 8:

“Today I am declaring an end to the slogans ‘Yes We Can!,’ ‘Change We Can Believe In,’ and ‘Hope.’ The truth is this: No we can’t, there’s not much change you can believe in, and my only hope is to find a way to turn the clock back to January of 2009 so I can start over and fight like the champ the American people thought they were electing. That is all. I will have no further proclamations.”

(Click here for Monday’s blog)

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